A few of my pals have recently purchased homes, and if I’m not asking for a tour to stretch my design skills and ideas—here’s a bit of what I’ve shared with them when they’ve asked.
To start, what I mentioned in an earlier post still stands: really live in your space. Let the annoyance, the frustration, the “this doesn’t feel right” moments actually sit with you. So often we distract ourselves with another show, more snacks, or a swipe of the credit card instead of sitting with discomfort. Especially when moving into a new place, we can lose sight of the joy that comes with the process—the creativity of a project still waiting to be done.
I’m not here to say you shouldn’t run to IKEA and outfit your whole place in one go. But if you can let yourself slow down—intentionally curating, tolerating the discomfort of things being incomplete—you’ll often find two things happen:
1. You get to experience the kismet moment of finding the exact credenza you wanted for $100 off marketplace, and
2. Living in the space gives you insights you simply didn’t have on day one, so you end up shaping a home that truly supports you.
Honestly, it feels a lot like dating.
We can get anxious, wanting to remove every question mark—so we rush to buy the whole living room in one weekend. Then later wonder, do I really want a white sofa I need to cover every time the dog jumps on it? Do I really like that beige lamp, or did I just panic-buy something that will “do”?
We can commit too quickly, afraid people will judge our half-finished spaces. But truthfully? Most people either don’t notice or don’t care. We can also get pulled into everyone else’s opinions, chasing trends that aren’t our style, only to ignore, redo, or ditch it all later. Or we freeze up entirely—too picky, waiting for “perfect,” or simply too overwhelmed to finish. Instead, I’d say: live with the space. Ask yourself questions—physically, mentally, even emotionally. Slowing down, actually feeling into it, gives you more perspective than rushing ever will.
Like dating and home design—metaphors everywhere.
For me, it took years to fill my place. I literally emailed myself notes on sofa dimensions and coffee table heights, then channeled all that anxiety into research and a little manifestation. When I finally found the marble table that fit my space perfectly, I never regretted the wait.
Sometimes you’ll take risks that don’t work out—and that’s fine. But stepping back, mapping what you need, and how it will fit into the bigger picture always pays off. Especially with big-ticket pieces like furniture and rugs. I learned this the hard way with my closet. I wasn’t intentional, and now when I keep reaching for jeans and a white tee, I know it’s not just laziness—it’s that nothing else really works the way I want it to. (Maybe I need a Clueless Closet review)
IRL vs. Online
I let both collaborate. Here’s how I set up a draft for each room: I save pieces I like, compare, and assess what’s missing. Online browsing helps me see how things fill out the space, and when I get a full-body yes—that’s when I buy. I also keep notes by room, tracking design hacks and inspirations. It keeps me organized and stops me from impulse shopping.
Living Room Vision
Fix plant pots
Purchase rug
New coffee table & side tables
Invest in additional art
Long-Term Plan: I want the space to feel moody and romantic—easy for hosting, connecting, and relaxing.
Mood Board: Here’s a mix of what I already have, plus ideas I’ve been playing with. I even tested wall colours to see how everything resonated together. It’s actually fun to play until it clicks, rather than regretting a piece later. Freeform (Apple’s design app) made it easy to test how pieces fit together visually, but honestly, pasting images into an email or pinning on Pinterest works too.
Living Room Tips
I’ve scoured designers I love to find some of the “science” behind the art. These aren’t rules—just reference points if something feels off:
Leave 30" clearance between items for walkways (emily henderson)
Keep seating within 4" of each other in height (for comfort + balance)
Rugs: extend 6–8" on either side of the sofa, and make sure they cover all the front feet of seating so they don’t feel too small
Coffee tables: aim for 2/3 the length of your couch
DIY hack: remote-controlled lighting for sconces so you don’t need cords (I also have voice-activated lights—game changer for tree lights or when your hands are full)
For me, my home is me. It needs to nourish, express, and reflect my whole self. Maybe for you that looks like slowly buying what resonates, impulse buying, gathering inspo, or hiring a designer, but if this process resonates, I hope my trial-and-error research supports your creative journey too. 🧡